Star Reacts!
by ElfCollaborator
Summary: Everyone's favourite princess and safe kid reacts to fanfiction, tropes, games and the like! Parody, crack, AU, OOC stuff, OCs, crossovers, and whatnot. Rated T for antics and insanity. SvtFoE belongs to Daron Nefcy and Disney. Chapter: Fanfiction, Part 1! ""Alright, Diaz, let Star do the talking!" Part of the Reactsverse.


**Star Reacts to Fanfiction, Part 1!**

 **A/N: Welcome, one and all, to yet another Reactsverse fic that will take up my time! As if I don't have enough fics I actually need to finish, good god. Now, for those of you who've been following the Reactsverse's other instalments, I do suspect your surprise;** _ **Star vs the Forces of Evil**_ **isn't really the type of show that you'd expect to pop up on my radar, considering my general preference for shows of the Japanese persuasion and/or video games. Moreover, it's also a kids' show; granted, one with a ton of jokes that kids really shouldn't get, but they've got to get the parents something to chew on while they watch it with their kids. However, after about a week of reading up on the show and then binge-watching it, I absolutely loved it and, well, considering the protagonist is a crazy princess magical girl type who knows buck-all about Earth and the deuteragonist is the savvy poor schmuck who ends up having to watch her back constantly, I felt like it was probably the best thing to write a fic about people getting into stupid shenanigans based on fanfics and video games in.**

 **And for those of you who're just tuning in to the Reactsverse, welcome, ladies and gents! This fic is exactly what it says on the tin; our favourite Mewnian princess and safe kid reading fanfic (real or fictional), reacting to it as well as various things such as video games and anime (and maybe other shows, but I'll be honest in that I don't watch much animation that hasn't either come out on Youtube or from Japan) and having fun on the way. Possibly up to and including Star accidentally making these fanfics real. Also, this fic will ignore most canon after** _ **Sleepover**_ **. This is important. Pay attention to this fact. (Also I was intending to write this to commemorate the Battle of Mewni but horrific laptop screen breakage happened so I lost my laptop with all the fanfic on it.)**

 **Anyway, enough of my pointless, long and possibly weird rambling. Let's get the show started!**

 **DISCLAIMER: SvtFoE belongs to Daron Nefcy and Disney, otherwise there would be even more magical girl references in the show than there already are. (I mean, we have Sailor Moon already, where's Nanoha? Precure? Or Puella Magi Madoka Magica? Though I suppose we might be getting that, if Eclipsa is anything to go by. Hopefully no Witches though.)**

 **All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

 _Once upon a time, in a town somewhere in America, lived a normal kid, with normal likes and normal hobbies. He lived with a normal family, living a normal life, with little to worry about except school, friends and his massive crush on the cute skateboarder girl he'd known ever since they were kids, spending his time between his hobbies and hanging out with his female best friend. That is, in a nutshell, how he spent most of his days._

 _That normal kid was not, nor had any connection with, Marco Diaz. This is not his story._

 _Normality had long left his life some time ago, to put it mildly; to put it bluntly, it had led for its life, screaming for mercy, from the all-destructive, rainbow-touting tempest in the shape of Star Butterfly, the utterly abnormal and totally not average princess of Mewni, whose idea of fun tended to involve explosions, magic, beating up evil monsters or some combination of the three._

 _Months had passed since Star came to Earth- mostly for the safety of Mewni- and the two, after becoming as thick as thieves, had participated in many adventures, mostly involving horrific mishaps with magic, other dimensions, or other magical dimensions. A while had passed since the close brush with death both had had with the enigmatic Toffee, and their perennial adversary Ludo had returned, time to time, more dangerous but still easily conquered-_

…

"This sounds terrible!" Star complained as her eyes pored over the screen, before pulling back and folding her arms. "Nobody's going to read this. Who starts a story like that?!"

"It's called 'setting the scene', Star", Marco retorted, pushing his seat back from the computer a moment. "I mean, you _wanted_ people to find out how...well, how we met, and you didn't want to use one of your mom's royal biographer guys!"

"Because Ruberiot worked _so_ well, didn't he? Besides, I thought if you wrote it, it'd look nice and personal! You know, warts and all? And besides, I'm not exactly Mewnian royalty anymore."

The boy rubbed the back of his head, looking around. Indeed, the two of them were sitting in an apartment, ten stories off the ground; a small, comfortable place for the moment. It was, all things said, eclectic; half the apartment was Star's, and so was decorated in rainbows, trappings of Butterfly Castle, and a few axes. The other was Marco's, and so decorated with posters of old Mackie Hand movies, belts and awards he'd won in the field of karate, and therefore less axes.

In hindsight, neither had much changed in ten years inside. Yes, Star had grown into a beautiful young woman, and yes, Marco had gained the 'hot bod' he'd so wanted to keep after his hunt for the dimensional scissors, but really, they were much the same as ever; Star ever the fun-seeking hyperactive and bubbly girl, Marco ever the 'safe', nice and understanding boy to keep her from getting into too much trouble.

Well, perhaps one little change had occurred.

"Although...King Marco Butterfly doesn't sound _so_ bad, seeing as I'd be in charge since we all know I wear the pants in this relationship," Star mused, her gaze slipping to the engagement ring on her left hand and ignoring the lifted eyebrow her fiancé gave her. "Nah. 'Butterfly-Diaz' sounds way better. Makes me sound all refined and cool."

"Well, anyway, we promised we'd tell them how we, uh, ended up together at the wedding, so..." Marco continued, nonetheless smiling a little at his fiancée's comment. "We should probably get back to work."

"And as much as I love you, that intro's still terrible."

"...well, what do you suggest, Star?"

The former princess tapped her chin, leaning over Marco's shoulder to look at the screen. "Hm...maybe we should go tell them the whole thing from the start!"

"They already know how you came to Earth."

"Not that! I mean...you know, how we ended up making that promise we did?" Star clarified. "I mean, if I hadn't done that..."

Marco nodded, understanding. "Oh, right. That's...I can't believe that's how we...yeah."

A brief silence befell the room, the memories of those days flooding back.

Star sighed nostalgically.

"...I can't believe it's been ten years and...we're about to get married," she spoke at last. "...not that I regret it, but..."

"If it's to the woman of my dreams, then of course I can believe it," Marco simply replied. Star couldn't help but grin.

"Awww. That's so sweet. And cheesy. Really cheesy."

"Hey, it's true. I love you, and...maybe once, I could've imagined being with someone else, but not anymore. Now, I can only imagine you standing by me, for the rest of my life. So there," the man firmly but gently confirmed. "I'll be cheesy, but that's how I feel."

Star cooed once more, before dipping down to his cheek and planting a gentle kiss on it.

"...but you're still a terrible writer," Star repeated with a whisper, smirking as she pulled away.

Marco groaned. "...way to kill the mood. Fine, Star. You write it. Besides, neither of us are good writers anyway, so maybe we'll...combine and make a not-so-terrible wedding speech?"

"Finally!" She declared teasingly, grabbing a chair as her fiancée moved aside, letting her type. "Alright, Diaz, let Star do the talking!"

* * *

 _Ten Years Ago, Echo Creek…._

"Yeaaaaaah, I….should probably listen to you next time," Star rubbed the back of her head, holding her wand in her hand and laughing nervously. The oven smoked behind her, rainbow-coloured smoke pouring forth from it and the scent of burned wheat and marshmallows filled Marco's nose. The young man simply sighed, shaking his head and wiped his forehead with a towel.

"Don't worry about it, Star. Just clean it up quickly, okay?"

"I still don't get this wand practice thing," the young woman whined, leaning on the counter as she waved her wand towards the oven, where a group of what appeared to be small loaves of bread with legs and arms began sprinting towards the door. "It's just so boring. Bread-Gathering Super Cloud!"

As a pinkish smiling cloud zipped out of her wand, ethereal hands scooping up the living loaves into the cloud, Marco leaned next to Star, his eyes following the cloud.

"I mean, you've had a while to practice, haven't you?" he pointed out. "You know, if you'd practiced earlier, you wouldn't be still making mistakes like that."

"I know, I know, you keep reminding me," she replied, before sighing. "But hey, it's clean now, right? Maybe we can try again!"

Marco's eyes shifted between Star and the possibly-broken oven and back again. He took Star by the hand, slowly walking towards the stairs.

"You know what, I think we should stop with the bread for now, 'kay?"

"Awww, but why?"

"I don't think making bread is your strong suit."

"Hey, it was working _before_ the oven almost exploded!"

As if in reply to Star, the cloud suddenly began hurling the loaves everywhere in the kitchen, splattering crumbs, crusts and magical pink gunk everywhere, before imploding in a spurt of gas that could only be described as smelling of rainbows and ivory. At this, both of them groaned, sharing a look.

"I'll take the gunk, you pick up the bread," Marco offered, before eyeing her wand. "And no magic!"

"Okay, _fiiiine_ ," Star groaned, putting her wand away. "The _Earth_ way it is."

"I mean, I _did_ suggest we do this my way, but you said you knew how to make bread with magic!"  
"Hey, I said I could _try_ , right? It's practice, right?"

Marco began forming a reply, but found he could give none.

' _She has a point. After all, you have to mess up before you get it right.'_ Indeed, the many bruises and scars he'd acquired in the process of practicing karate were testament to that.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Let's fix this quickly, okay? My parents'll kill us if they find out we blew up the oven trying to make bread.

….

 _Half an hour later..._

"We need a Google on Mewni," Star remarked, looking up 'bread recipes' on the Internet on the aforementioned search engine. The pair of them were currently lounging in the living room, Star having commandeered Marco's laptop. The princess picked up his laptop, shaking it as if to test how much "the Google" weighed. "How does this even _fit_ inside your laptop?"

"Well, it's not _actually_ in my laptop," the boy explained. "It's kinda like how TV shows aren't inside a television. Only with more words."

"Oooooh." Star nodded slowly, like a pupil listening to a teacher. "So you can use this to look for anything?"

"Well, almost," Marco replied. "I mean, there's obviously-"

"I'm going to look myself up!" the princess declared, typing in her name into the search bar and poring over the results. She tilted her head.

"Huh, there's a LOT about me on here," Star noted, bringing up a few pages. "What's a wiki? Oooh. Hey! They have pictures of me! I look kinda thin. My hair's a little too long, too."

At that, Marco seemed surprised. "Wait, what? You have a wiki page?"

"Right here! See? It says 'Star Butterfly' right here on the...Disney Wiki," the princess remarked as she looked at the page, her head tilted. "What's a Disney?"

"Hey, hey," Marco waved over as he sat next to her, leaning into her to look at the screen. "Can you look my name up?"

Star nodded, typing his name in. Her eyes pored over the screen, before spying one particular feature of interest. "...aww, that's cute. Your parents must've put up your baby pictures up! Ooh, you looked really _cute_ as a baby- is that a _doll?"_  
"What?!" Marco shrieked in surprise, yanking the laptop from her, taking one gaze at the screen before frantically scrolling down and slamming the laptop shut, holding it away from his housemate. "Y-you don't need to see those! And quit giggling!"

Star did not, in fact, stop giggling, holding her laughter in with her hand but still clearly flailing with laughter. The boy groaned, placing his hand lightly on his head.

"Ohhh, if Jackie sees these..." he groaned, hoping that the girl he'd had a crush on for years would never look him up. Star smiled, finally managing to gather a measure of composure.

"Oh, relax. She'll never see those pictures! Besides, it's not like she'll casually just look you up and it's not like we're going to show her those."

Marco groaned in shame, covering his face. "If she sees those, she'll _never_ take me seriously ever again..."

Star laid a hand on his shoulder, smiling. "Awww, don't worry about it. I'm sure if Jackie really likes you, she won't care that you looked like a total cutie as a baby~"

"That's...not that reassuring," the boy replied, before opening the laptop back up, before something caught his eye in the corner, an email notification.

"...hm? Who is...that?" Marco read the email contact at the top of the screen. "...well, whoever reflet1205 is, they just sent us an email from some website I've never heard of. What's an Antic Order?"

"Is it like those emails from people where they ask you for money so they could go get you more?" Star tilted her head curiously. Marco shook his head as he pored over the message.

 _I'm a real fan of the whole Princess Marco schtick. Takes real courage for a man to wear a dress and wear it like he owns it._

His hand immediately flew over that part of the screen, shielding it from Star's sight. Marco didn't need her to know that side of him just yet. It wasn't that she'd tease him- she'd definitely tease him, but it was Star, so it was perfectly fine- but it'd be difficult for him to explain that to anyone else.

 _'Okay, they're just a fan. With email, apparently. Where are they even messaging from?'_

 _I thought I might send you guys some fanart; just to let you guys know how much you guys are loved around here, and not just on Mewni. I personally think that they'd get a nice reaction out of you guys, and I thought they were funny. Hope I'm not intruding._

So it was a fan of Princess Marco, sending fanart- or links to fanart. No big deal.

 _'Famous people deal with this stuff all the time, right? Well, on the Internet, at least,'_ he reassured himself. Granted, the Internet being the Internet, it could get a little weird, a little wild, but mostly in the spirit of good fun.

"No, this person says they want to show us something..." Marco eyed the email suspiciously. He knew enough about weird emails to know what could possibly happen, regardless, before opening the link. "Oh! That's...huh. I was expecting worse, but no, it's just a comic."

Star looked at the screen, before nodding in approval. "Huh. Those are pretty nice. I wonder why we're blushing and looking away like that?"

"And...huh? Is this a comic about us?" the boy inquired. "...I didn't know someone wrote comics about us. That's kinda cute. And weird. How would they even know what we looked like?"  
"Maybe it's StarFan13's thing," Star suggested, before immediately looking around to make sure that her fan was not, in fact, anywhere near them. "...I mean, she likes writing stuff about us, right?"

"She also told me it was about us doing _weird_ things to each other," Marco replied, cringing as he remembered the fangirl regaling him with one of the premises of the stories about them she wrote, which involved a very willing Star, chocolate syrup and acts which ought not to be repeated in polite company.

"Oh, relax, it's probably just a normal comic that Janna drew or something," Star waved it off. "Besides, with a title like _Between Friends_ , what could possibly go wrong?"

 _'A lot of things,'_ Marco left unsaid. _'A lot of things could go wrong.'_

Nonetheless, curiosity got the better of him and so on he went.

* * *

 _Back in the present..._

"Are we seriously telling people at our wedding that story?" Marco complained exasperatedly. "Star, there will be _kids_ there! Kids!"

"Relax! We've got, like, three weeks before the wedding! We can edit it!" Star replied. "Besides, it's a funny story, right?"

"It's been ten years since that day and I'm _still_ not laughing about it."

"Oh, come off it," the woman waved him off. "It'll be _fiiiiine._ Trust me!"

"I trust you a lot and I wonder how I'm still alive sometimes."

Star pouted. "That's just mean. Come on? Pleaaaase? It's my special day."

Marco simply sighed, rolling his eyes. Yes, Star had _not_ grown up very much since she first came to Earth. Even ten years later, barely weeks away from their wedding, she hadn't matured all that much.

Still, Marco couldn't help but indulge her and wouldn't have it any other way.

"Fine, Star, you can tell the story," he acquiesced, resisting the urge to smile as his wife-to-be pumped her fist triumphantly. "But you're cutting out all parts kids shouldn't see when we're done, alright?"

…...

 _Back in the past, a few minutes later..._

"Are...are we...doing _that..._ to each other?!" Marco yelped in surprise as he read the comic. His eyes widened and his skin crawled as he realised precisely what he was reading. The expression of horror on his face simply grew as he read each page. Star, for her part, had an unreadable expression as her eyes followed Marco's down.

Indeed, much of the comic was about the princess and the boy performing carnal acts upon each other, drawn in loving, sensual detail to rival professional illustrators. The comic's Marco and Star, from their facial expressions, seemed to be enjoying the deed with much gusto. It was rather passionate; indeed, much too passionate for the teenagers who were engaging in the act _,_ and certainly too passionate for the models upon whom said teenagers were based.

"W-why would someone _draw_ this?!" Marco cried in horror. "Who even thought this was a g-good idea?!"

Star, on the other hand, simply tilted her head and snorted. "This is...kinda weird, but funny."

"Funny? How is this _funny_?!" her housemate stared at her in absolute disbelief.

"Hey, I mean, someone took the effort to go draw us like this, right? It's kinda flattering," the princess explained casually. "Besides, it's not like we'd _actually_ do this to each other, right? It's just a comic."

Indeed, the thought of _kissing_ , let alone doing something like this with Marco was alien to Star. After all, the sleepover- and the ensuing chaos- had established the state of affairs; he wanted Jackie, she wanted Oskar. The lines were drawn in the sand, so to speak. It was an utterly silly thought, her doing something so intimate with her best friend.

 _'Of course I wouldn't...y'know, do that with_ _ **Marco**_ _. Besides, it'd make everything all weird, right?'_ Star thought to herself.

"Just a comic? It's...you know, _that_! Who even has the _time_ to do something like this?! Who'd want to see us both naked like that even?!"

"...I can think of a few-"

"StarFan13 does NOT count, okay?"

"...okay, nobody," Star conceded the point, sighing. "Actually, now that you say that, it's kinda weird someone would go to all that effort to draw us doing _that_ to each other so well...actually, it's _really_ weird."

Marco simply shuddered as he closed the tab, before going back to check who'd sent him the message. "Alright. Okay. Calm down, Marco, we can forget that _ever_ happened aaaaand find out who this person is. How did they even get my email anyway? Star?"

The princess shrugged. "Don't look at me, I don't even have any friends at St. Olga's who'd read that! Half of them don't even know I know you!"

"...didn't they see us, y'know, kinda going in there and breaking out Pony Head?"

"Yeah, but, to be fair, you _were_ kinda in a dress at the time and your hair made you look kinda different," the princess replied, tapping her chin as she leaned on the desk, trying to figure out who else might've known the email. After all, nobody really emailed anyone anymore except for work or various professional things; it was all phones and Macebook now, so Marco hardly ever gave his email out.

The same thought crossed their minds at exactly the same time.

"Janna," they said in unison. After all, Janna had all of Marco's secret information, right down to his fingerprints, password and social security number. It wouldn't be a stretch to assume Janna had his email, too.

…..

"Huh? Email?" Janna repeated, clearly confused as the image on Star's wand showed her face. "Well, yeah, I know your email address, Marco. Why?"

"Some weirdo just sent me...weird pictures," the boy responded, for now ignoring the blatant intrusion into his privacy and leaving out the full details; Janna, of all people, really didn't need to know about those. "Look, did you give it out to someone?"

"Weird pictures? Like fanart?"

"...how did you know?"  
"Well, you're famous, you two, so it's natural you'd get fanart about you," she evasively replied. "What was it like? Was it weird thinking people drew pictures of you? I bet it was cool. Did they send you any of me?"  
"Hold on, famous? When did we get _famous_?" Star inquired, curiously.

It was objectively true that Star and Marco were famous; Star was well-known, obviously, as the Crown Princess of Mewni, and Marco, unbeknownst to Star, had the whole 'Princess Marco' merchandising deal, and of course by this point a good portion of Mewni knew him as the Princess' best friend. Of course, to call either famous, together, would be a stretch at this point.

"I mean, there's plenty of fanfic about you two online," Janna continued casually. "And not just StarFan13's fanfic, either."

"I think I know all _about_ her fanfic," Marco remarked drily, before the full implications of what Janna had just said caught up to him. "Wait, plenty? Could you come over and explain?"

"Just as soon as I'm done here. So do you guys want a skull or a femur?"

Star spoke up. "A skull or a-wait. Janna, where are you right now?"

"The graveyard," she casually replied, as if saying she were at the mall or at the park. "The gravedigger promised I could have his grandpa's skeleton if I cleaned his yard. Bet he'd let me have a few more bones if I asked."

"...dammit, Janna, why didn't you invite me?!" Star whined childishly. "I wanted to go clean out yards for skeletons too!"

Marco clapped his palm to his forehead. "Can we _not_ talk about skeletons right now? Janna, what do you even need a skeleton for?"

"A good skeleton's hard to come by, Marco, let alone one that looks as clean as this one," Janna replied as if she were talking about a fine wine, or a good painting. "Don't worry, I'll see if I can't get you a skull. See ya."

"Okay, thanks! See ya!" Star chirped as she shut off the call, before turning to an astonished Marco. "What?"

"Why do you want a _skull_?"

"It looks cool, okay? Besides, good skeletons are hard to come by," Star echoed Janna's words, inducing another facepalm from her housemate.

"Let's...let's just wait for Janna to get here already," he uttered resignedly.

Then, at least, there might be some explanation as to the supposed treasure trove of fanfic there was about the two of them.

* * *

 **To be continued...**

* * *

 **A/N: This actually took a long while to write, a lot longer than I expected (for reference, I started writing this chapter in June, hoping to get it done in time for the Battle of Mewni, and it's now August), mainly because I wasn't satisfied with the first angle I took with this story, which was going to be closer to a** _ **How I Met Your Mother**_ **-type deal with Star and Marco telling this story to their kids. Then I kinda realised I didn't have much of a personality for their kids and I could probably do better with the framing device, so I scrapped them, rewrote the whole first chapter (for reference, the only part of the first chapter not written was the two of them calling Janna) from scratch and hopefully made it decent.**

 **Anyway, next time, everybody's favourite savvy guy and energetic girl pair gets dragged forcibly screaming into the world of fanfic! So, leave your ideas, comments, thoughts, suggestions and reviews and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


End file.
